Have a Little Grace For Yourself

They say you can't have grace for someone else unless you have grace for yourself first. But that isn't me at all.
I find I have way more grace for everyone BUT me. Can you relate?
If you can then you probably know what it's like to tell someone it's okay, it was an accident/mistake, and of course you forgive them. But you're not so nice on yourself. When you make a mistake, when you mess up it's, "why couldn't I have done better?", "I always mess up", "I'm never going to be good enough". There's. No. Grace.

Friends, this is not the way it is supposed to be! And I'm talking to myself here. I'm terrible at this. But I know it's wrong and I want to change.
God says,
“...You shall love your neighbor as yourself.”
‭‭Matthew‬ ‭19:19‬ ‭ESV‬‬

AS YOURSELF. Interesting that there's this nice little assumption that we love ourselves. Why did God say that? Because loving yourself is important!

So basically we need to love ourselves. Not be in love with yourself. But have a healthy love and respect for yourself. What does that look like? I don't really know. But I have a good bet that it doesn't look like verbally beating yourself up whenever you mess up.

Give yourself a little grace. I'm going to.

Old Post - Pain in Happiness

This is a post from a while back. Somehow it never got published, but it's still relevant to life so here it is. I hope it is a blessing to you.

Sometimes life is not happy.  That's definitely something I've learned.
In the midst of preparing for one of the happiest days in most people's life, i find myself in the depths of depression.  And there are lots of things i can point to for the reasons why, but they are personal and unnecessary for my point.
My point is this:  In the midst of all of it i have a choice.  A choice to allow myself to continue to wallow in self pity and pain or lay down my life before God and trust His greater plan.  The plan that says, "Your pain is for a reason, and you need to trust Me with it."

"For I consider that the sufferings of this present time are not worth comparing with the glory that is to be revealed to us." - Romans 8:18 (ESV)

Slowly, day by day, i am learning to find peace in the midst of His presence.  I still haven't gotten the joy thing down yet, but i hope to some day. And in the meantime, i will take this one day at a time. Waking up every morning and choosing to trust God and give my day over to the Creater of life and ultimate Provider.

Learning To Let Go

I was having a conversation a while back with someone about trusting God with things.  And we came to the conclusion that everyone is different.  Some people trust God with the little stuff, like getting home safely or getting good grades.  But some of those people just can't seem to trust Him in the big stuff.  Then there are those who are completely confident in God's ability to handle the big situations (such as major life changes) but fail to trust him with the little things.  And then of course there are those who do both or neither.
I tend to be a "trust God with the big stuff but try to handle the little stuff on my own kind of person." Which usually results in me getting overloaded and having a breakdown because I was trying to bear everything myself.  It happens.  A lot.  A lot more than I'd like to admit.
But God desires that we trust Him with the little and the big things. Here's a little reminder of that:

'Therefore do not be anxious, saying, ‘What shall we eat?’ or ‘What shall we drink?’ or ‘What shall we wear?’  For the Gentiles seek after all these things, and your heavenly Father knows that you need them all.  But seek first the kingdom of God and his righteousness, and all these things will be added to you.   “Therefore do not be anxious about tomorrow, for tomorrow will be anxious for itself. Sufficient for the day is its own trouble.' - Matthew 6:31-34 (ESV)

God knows what we need.  He's already providing it.  We just need to trust Him in that.  He wants us to have trust and dependence on Him like that of a child.

'..."Truly, I say to you, unless you turn and become like children, you will never enter the Kingdom of Heaven."' - Matthew 18:3 (ESV)

I have to remind myself of this all the time. And so do the people who love me. But I still forget. It is a constant struggle and fight to lay my pride down and allow myself to recognize my need for God and His control over, and provision for, my life.  No, not my life.  His life.  My life is His.

Lord, may i be constantly reminded of Your provision and comfort.  Let this moment be the start of a continual, stubborn effort to place You first in my life and look to You first in every moment.  Remind me when i so often forget that You are LORD and You determine my steps; not my stupid, little, human mind that doesn't know what to do.  Help me to be patient and forgive myself when i fail, just as You continually forgive me and clothe me in Your righteousness. Amen

A Prayer of the Tired

God, help my to have the blind faith it takes to love when it is hard, persevere when I am tired, and continue when I am afraid. You are the Author of Life and all things. Surely in these times You are the only One to whom I can turn. You can comfort me. And if You do not carry me through, You will be with me throughout my trials. Thank you, Lord, for Your greatness. And that You love us even when we are scared, tired and doubtful. Thanks be to an amazing God whom I love and who loves me more than I can fathom.
Amen.

God Is My Comfort

These past few days I've surprised myself. Mostly because I always assumed that when the time came I would be the one to face reality with a brave face and keep marching on. But apparently I'm not.
See, my fiancé just left recently on a trip. And I thought everything would be fine. But as the date for his departure drew closer I started having panic attacks and nightmares and was unable to control the depth of fear I felt. And very graciously the Lord gently pulled me from fear's grasp. And I am thankful.
But I find myself with a new challenge. It's day 3 since he left and we no longer have any contact. I trust that the Lord will protect him, but I cannot shake the loneliness of missing him. It turns out the reality of life without your other half is an extremely hard one to cope with. How do you deal with this? What does the Bible say about the pain of missing someone dear in your life? I don't know. I just know I need God to support me through this. It's only 8 days, but it feels like it will never end.
So I surprised myself. It turns out that I need more strength than I thought I had.
And that I take too much for granted in the beautiful times we get to spend together. They seemed so short and so few before. But now I can't wait to get them back.
I do not write this to discourage, or cause pain or worry. But to honestly show that we all go through these things and that the pain IS real. But God's love and comfort is even more real.

Psalm 71:19-21 ESV

"Your righteousness, O God, reaches the high heavens. You who have done great things, O God, who is like you?  You who have made me see many troubles and calamities will revive me again; from the depths of the earth you will bring me up again.  You will increase my greatness and comfort me again."